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 Dear
Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
This is
really our last weekend of Ordinary Time. Next weekend, the
Thirty-Fourth week of Ordinary Time begins with the Feast of
Christ the King. So this is really the last Sunday that we’re
going to be wearing “the green” for awhile. As we head towards
the holiday, with Thanksgiving this week and Christmas and New
Year’s now just a few weeks away, I thought we’d spend some time
talking about getting along better. It’s not easy to be a
family. It’s not easy to be married. Gee, sometimes it’s not
even easy to be friends. Relationships demand that all of us
get out of ourselves long enough to care about others.
Certainly, being “Church” demands the same thing. We are ALL
selfish by nature. To care more about others than you do about
yourself takes a conscious act of the free will. And at times,
it even takes a determination. There are those times in EVERY
relationship, where a deep resolve and commitment may really be
what’s keeping you together, as a family, as a married couple,
as friends, and even as Church. While eventually there’s got to
be more than just resolve and determination, what is also true
is that if we sometimes had more resolve and commitment, maybe
we wouldn’t give up on each other so easily. And my brothers
and sisters, that just might make more of a difference in our
lives than we can imagine.
In the
Gilbert and Sullivan opera,
The Gondoliers,
the Duchess of Plaza Toro gives marital advice to her daughter,
and claims that loving one’s husband is only a question of
determination. The duchess tells her daughter, “I loved your
father. It was very difficult, my dear, but I said to myself,
‘That man is a Duke and I WILL love him.’ Several of my
relations bet me that I couldn’t, but I did - desperately!”
The Duchess’ motive may have been rather mercenary and her
attitude comical, but there’s certainly a grain of truth in what
she says. Today we give up much too easily on our
relationships. Maybe we need to remember how God never gives up
on us, just so we can keep trying to get along with one another.
Here’s an
idea for this Advent and the Holidays this year! What if
instead of immediately jumping to rash conclusions about each
other this year as we head into the holidays, what if we
actually gave one another the benefit of the doubt, and even
gave people a chance before we wrote them off? I recently had
the most amazing conversation with a woman who went seven years
without talking to her sister because of something that she had
thought that she had heard her sister say seven years ago. When
she brought the matter up to another family member who was also
present for the assumed conversation, the other relative was
able to bear witness to the fact that the statement that caused
the rift for seven years, was NOT what was in fact said. It was
a very innocent statement with no bad intention. But the one
sister was so hurt by what she had presumed had been said, that
it separated the two sisters for seven years. How sad! Thank
God, the sisters cleared up the issue before one or both of them
went home to God! In too many families, in far too many
marriages and friendships, silly, little disagreements drive
people apart. Sometimes the issues aren’t so little or so
silly, but are our disagreements ever big enough to justify
writing somebody off?
Life is short.
Don’t you think that God meant that whole “forgive as I have
forgiven you” thing? Sometimes we just have to give one
another, another chance. Or at the least, couldn’t we try to
give one another the benefit of the doubt?
Sometimes
we think that we have things figured out. Sometimes we are so
sure that we know the motives of others. Sometimes we are just
so sure that others are out to do us harm. And then we find out
that we were wrong. Say it with me, “We were wrong.” We’ve
all been wrong before. And guess what? We will all be wrong
again. Maybe we shouldn’t be so sure of our judgments of
others. Maybe there really is more to the story!
So maybe
before we get together with our families and friends this year,
maybe we ought to pray for the ability to look at things in a
new light, preferably in the Light of Christ. All of us can
change. Let’s try harder at giving one another the chance to
change.
This coming
Thursday is Thanksgiving. If you are going to be traveling on
Thursday, have a safe trip and a wonderful Thanksgiving. If you
are going to be around home for Thanksgiving, why not join us
for Mass on Thursday morning at 9:00 AM. I’ve always loved that
Mass because nobody has to come to Mass that day. Those who do
come are the ones who care enough to say ‘thank you’ to God
before we gorge ourselves. Remember, it’s what Thanksgiving is
all about.
Have a
great week and don’t eat too much pumpkin pie!
In Christ,
Fr. Kevin
You may think
of someone as just one person in the world but they may be the
world to just one person.
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