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 Dear
Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
Happy Gaudete Sunday! Today we switch gears a little bit
in our celebration of Advent, and we go into more of a rejoicing
mode. The birthday of our Lord draws near! With excitement and
expectation, we join with all Christians all over the world, in
anticipation of this great Feast!
I try very hard not to “whine” in this column. I’ve known
priests before who I considered “whiners”, and it is not a very
attractive or endearing character trait in anybody, especially
priests. Priests had lots of time to think about what they were
getting into while in seminary. I’m a firm believer that sometimes
we all just need to “cowboy up” and take what we signed on for,
whether we’re priests, or religious, or married, or single. And
yet, on this one day out of the whole year, I feel entitled. I hate
this day. How am I supposed to “rejoice” today when I’m wearing more
pink than Hannah Montana. I mean, look at this vestment! On this
Third Sunday of our Advent season, Holy Mother Church, that is, US,
my bride, my spouse, asks… O.K.- DEMANDS - that I wear “rose”
vestments. I can’t tell you how emasculating this is for a guy.
Won’t you let me whine for just today? It just makes a guy feel
weird. I feel like that kid in the movie “A Christmas Story” when
he had to put on the stupid rabbit outfit that his aunt had sent him
for Christmas with the ears and the feet. And so today I do this
for every guy out there, especially husbands, who have ever had
their spouse “make” them wear a tie, or a suit, or a pink shirt.
Sometimes we just gotta show them how much we love them. And the
message kinda gets ruined when we whine about having to do it.
A couple of years ago, I wrote a “Top-Ten Reasons Why I Hate
to Wear the Pink Vestment” list for the bulletin. A couple of
people have asked me if I would put that in the bulletin again. And
hey, there’s only one weekend of the year that I can use it again.
So… Here goes…
#10 - I feel like I have to smell “pretty” when I’m wearing the
pink vestment. That’s something that is very hard for me to do. I
think it’s connected to those Mary Kay cosmetics pink Cadillacs that
you see on the road.
#9 - The Ordo, the Church’s official guide for the liturgy for the
year says that the color of the day is “rose”, not pink! Somehow
rose sounds a bit more manly than pink. You know, you can argue
that it’s an earth tone because it appears in nature. But what does
a “rose” vestment look like? The Bishop’s Office said it looks
pink!
#8 - Wearing this vestment makes me hungry for salmon.
#7 - I look like a Sam’s Club-sized bottle of Pepto Bismol when I
have it on.
#6 - I could hide in the Barbie aisle at Target and nobody would
ever find me.
#5 - I always get thirsty for a strawberry milkshake whenever I
wear it.
#4 - My vestments today will match perfectly in color with the
coats of nearly every three-year-old girl at Mass today.
#3 - I could spill rose wine all over myself today and who would
know?
#2 - My mother had, and probably still does have, a bathrobe that
was the exact same color of this vestment. If I wore this more than
once a year I would have to be in therapy for years to come.
#1 - And the NUMBER ONE reason… Jesus wore a crown of thorns,
and carried a cross for miles, and died a criminal’s death on the
cross, but He NEVER had to wear a pink vestment! So why do I?
Alright, I’ve whined enough for one year. Rejoice today with family
and friends! The Great Feast of the Incarnation is less than two
weeks away! Have a great week!
In Christ,
Fr. Kevin
“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small
minds discuss people” -Eleanor
Roosevelt
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